Fats
In this essay, I am going to talk to you about fats. You may think that it is a peculiar topic, but people today are getting fatter and fatter so we have to do something to stop that.
If you want to beat an enemy (like fats), then you must know about the enemy. Fats are abnormal particles of soft meat that make you go to the TAF club (Trim And Fit club) in your school. You may not believe it, but each day, an average person grows one hundred grams of fat! Which scientist told me that? I, myself. Although there is no scientific proof that all scientists need before proving a theory, let me tell you that a little bird flew by and told me that. (Okay, that is a lie...a white one, and I have no idea how many fats an average person grows per day.)
There are all kinds of fats and these are really scientific. (I hope) examples are: butt fats, tummy fats, leg fats, lung fats, blood vessel fat(this is true) and many more other different types of soft, squishy fats. System override! This essay cannot take too many fats! System will self-destruct in ten seconds…STOP! See how fats take up something and makes it override? This is how serious the ‘fat’ problem is.
How do we fight fats? This is a simple, five step plan that is guaranteed to work if you want to be anti-fat. ( This is very good for working people as they seldom have time to exercise, and that includes you, dad!)
1) Do not eat too much fatty food.
2) Exercise ten times per day (This includes climbing up staircases and cooking.)
3) Do not be carnivorous (Please eat more veggies, and although they do not taste as good as fatty meat, they are much better for your health.)
4) Drink less soft drinks, they contain lots of carbonated fats.
5) Do not let your child(ren) type meaningless compositions like this one as it reduces their exercising time! (This is an official complaint against children’s rights!)
Please follow the rules! (Especially the fifth one) If you want to be an anti-fat ambassador, you can sign up at any participating seven-eleven outlets. (The committee has not found any outlets willing to participate, but if you are really keen, you can try all the stores.)All anti-fat ambassadors will receive a diet package (all veggies, no meat), and a pin that says that ‘I am anti-fat!’ all for free. Your diet will be monitored carefully by surveillance cameras that take away (directly from your hand or spoon) any unhealthy food.
Okay, all the above about the anti-fat committee is NOT true! Get it yes? Fiction! So please do not go to a seven-eleven outlet to ask for a membership. If you try to be funny and do that, the cashier will give you a stare that you will remember for the rest of your puny life (maybe even your next life.)
I personally tried this before and the cashier gave me a look that I still remember. If you ask me how I knew of this anti-fat committee, and you are thinking: what an imaginative imagination this child has! Sadly, it is WRONG!
I found it on a brochure that was carelessly chucked into my mailbox. It was really crumpled so it aroused my suspicions. I opened it immediately. There it was, the anti-fat membership form! All of the anti-fat rules were copied word for word from the old looking brochure. Surprised, right? Anyway, the anti-fat tips really work! I tried them on my fat friend and so far, she has lost ten kilograms and is officially out of the TAF club. Although the brochure led me into serious trouble with the cashier, (she wanted to call the police and my parents as she thought it was a prank.) The tips were really useful! (You do realise that I am writing crap and rubbish.)
You dumb person! You fell for it again! There is no anti-fat committee so I thought of it. I also never went to seven-eleven on my own (the main reason is my overprotective parents.)